I’ve been gone for a while; obviously. But I’ve missed blogging and I’m not accomplishing any goals by NOT blogging, so I’m back. Back in July I thought my life was falling apart. It was actually falling into place.
There was a lot of friction at my job in Long Island. I was seriously unhappy and it was obvious. My manager and I often clashed heads and it was taking a toll on my professional personality. I’ve always been able to keep my mouth in check at work but towards the end, honestly I didn’t give as much of a fuck as I should have. Smart ass me with the quick mouth clocked in with smile and get the job done me. Just as things started to get messy at work, my landlord gave me thirty days to move out; they were selling their house. I was at my wits end and like chapstick to dry lips a friend of mine posted on Instagram about a job opening (if you’re not benefiting in SOME way from social media, you’re doing it wrong, folks). A week later I had a new job and was preparing to moving back to my parents house.
I seriously had a moment when I thought my life as I knew it was over. I mean it was, but at the time I thought it was way worse than it actually was. Thankfully my best friend Alicia was there when I got the news about having to move, so I didn’t have a major meltdown. I moved back to Queens and started working in Brooklyn. I can see now how God was working. If I was still living in LI, my commute to Brooklyn would have been a supreme pain in my ass and ridiculously expensive. Moving back home was the best thing for me at the time; thankfully I was blessed to have that option. My commute was a bit expensive (a monthly LIRR pass and a monthly metro card hurts), but it was smooth and I lowkey enjoyed it for a while lol.
About three months after being home, I got word on THE sweetest apartment hookup and I was moving once again. If I weren’t back home, I don’t know if the opportunity would have presented itself the same way. I’m actually living in what was my moms second apartment. I mean, what are the chances? My mom’s second apartment is my second apartment. Look at God. It took way more than I would have liked to spend but my spot is finally feeling like home (Missed my struggles? Make sure to check out my Instagram @TVE_MsVixin. Fish around for some progress updates on the apartment). I love being here. I love the colors and the feel. It feels like home. There are still things to do, but at this point it’s just to customize the place and really make it mine.
I don’t get paid to blog. It actually costs me money – hosting, web designer, graphic designer, giveaways, etc. It’s a labor of love. I love what I do here at TVE but I needed to take a break to get my shit in order. I thought about blogging everyday, but just never did it. I’ve been gone for a while, but in that time, I’ve grown. I lost a lot, I gained a lot and I’m back to sharing my journey with anyone who wants to read about it.
So I’m afraid of spiders. I don’t give a damn how small them sons of bitches are compared to me or how harmless you want to tell me they are; I don’t fucking like them. They ain’t shit. They mama’s ain’t shit. And if they ain’t killing all the fucktard mosquitoes that blemish my butter soft skin every summer, they ain’t never gona be shit. Their very essence makes my skin crawl. The way they move, be it fast or slow, makes me think they’re strategically trying to destroy me. Every spider knows I’m afraid of it and therefore is trying to end me before I end it. It’s like when you don’t like someone and you see them happy. “How dare that bitch know joy?” “That fuck boy had the gaul to go back for seconds?” There’s nothing good that can come from spiders.
I park my car under a tree. These natural terrorists position themselves to attack all the damn time but I’m one up on them hoes. I pay the fuck attention to what’s going on around the door because God forbid one get in the car. For all twelve years of my driving life one of my greatest fears has been seeing a spider in my car while driving. I know seeing a spider will move the spirit in me and I will lose my good sense. Sometimes for no damn reason I’ll randomly remind myself that if I ever WERE to see a spider in the car while driving that I am to remain calm so I don’t crash that bitch.Read More»
June was one HELL of a month. From day one I felt like my life was in shambles. It was a really REALLY rough time for me and it makes so much more sense when you start from the beginning. So in a nutshell….
I came back to work from Memorial Day weekend to bullshit from my manager. Got written up blah blah blah. The following week, I had to call out of work the day before I had a scheduled day off; not good. That Friday (the day I had scheduled off) I spent the day with my best friend and her daughter (my goddaughter). We’re chilling after brunch all smiles and my landlord rings the bell. He’s selling his house and I have thirty days to move. Five years. No problems we couldn’t work out in two texts. Rent on time. And he gave me thirty days (I’d held on to being angry about that for at least twenty of the thirty days I had left. Then I realized that if I were moving out, I wouldn’t have given him more than thirty days either and got over it. Perspective changes a lot folks). There was no way I was going to be able to find a place I could afford AND come up with first month, last month and possibly a realtor’s fee in that time frame; so I moved back home. When I’d initially told my mom about moving back, it didn’t go well at all. We worked it out, but it took some communicating. I’d had a rough ass Friday and I spent the rest of the weekend worrying if I would be coming in on Monday just to get fired before I had to move back home. This was all the first week of the month.
By that Friday (I didn’t get fired lol), while avoiding my tasks I ran into God. I mean, that sounds dramatic, but, it’s what I do. If you feel like social media is a waste, you’re doing it wrong. A friend of mine posted about a job opening. I messaged her, we discussed and within a few hours she scheduled an interview with her manager for Monday. I interviewed Monday morning and was hired Monday afternoon. Look. At. My. God.
So the first week of July is over now. I’ve quit a job (it was my first “real” job and my first job post graduation. I would have been there six years in October), moved back to my parents house (I moved out five years ago) and will be starting a new job. The timing is just divine. My old job was a dead end. There was no growth for me there. My new job? Complete opposite. As I’m sitting here writing this post, it’s the night before my first day and I’ve gotta say I’m scared as shit. I haven’t done anything “new” in at least five years and I have no clue what I’m walking into. But, this time three years ago, I started blogging. One of my first topics of discussion was trying something new everyday for the month leading up to my birthday. It’s pretty ironic that I’m back in the same boat, around the same time, with opportunity staring at me once again. I don’t know if things falling as they have is a sign, but I’ll be sure not to mess up this opportunity just in case it is.
I was forced to exercise my chill. Last night, just before I got in bed, I’d realized someone had taken something from me. It was my phone charger. Now, I have two spares (one in the car and one at work) because my phone doesn’t respect me or my authority, but this person had taken my Apple charger. The expensive ass one that came with the phone that I’d never pay for and for such reasons stays in the house. This person likely just wanted to charge their phone and took the whole thing with them when they grabbed their phone to leave. But when I tell you I was furious about it, I guarantee you you’re not envisioning the proper level of fury that was surging through me. I rely on my phone to wake me up in the am. I was at maybe 34% and was NOT walking out to the car to get the spare. This was MY GOOD charger that was taken. Accident or not. I don’t care if they thought they were “borrowing” it. In my mind they’d STOLEN it. I didn’t even get a “hey D. I fucked around and took your charger with me when I left. Don’t forget to remind me to bring it next time I come over” text. Nothing. To compound the shitiation, the persons phone was dead. I tried to call so I could read the shit out of this individual and their phone was fucking dead. I mean, you have the nerve to take my charger and have a dead ass battery???? The fuck? Unfuckingacceptable. Utterly unfuckingacceptable.Read More»
In March I received my first award of recognition for my work with my blog. The ladies of LUSH Expressions, an all women entertainment company inspiring women to “Love Yourself and Stay Happy”, chose to honor myself and four other phenomenal women of substance and success at their first annual women’s expo. Honestly, I’m still in shock. I don’t do this for recognition, I do it for release. I enjoy having something I can channel my energy and creativity into. It’s mine; it grows as I do. My blog means a lot to me and to see that it means a lot to others as well is quite a humbling yet exciting feeling.
You really never know who’s watching. You never know who’s life you can touch and to me that’s one of the most amazing gifts in life. The feeling I get when I get inspired, uplifted, motivated and/or energized by a thought, comment, anecdote, joke or whatever has to be one of THE best feelings; it’s so pure. That spark of positivity that can lead to an endless number of other positive things is definitely a gift. I love the idea of something that I’m doing inspiring that same feeling in others. I love the idea that something I express may motivate someone to actively pursue their dream a little harder than they did the day before. It’s like a chain reaction of positivity.Read More»