>Yup. Valentine’s Day was two days ago. I enjoyed mine, thanks for asking. Wait,what? You’re telling me about yours? No, I didn’t ask. Please, stop explaining. lol I jest. I do hope everyone had a nice day as well. Amidst all the cynicism and negativity about a day centered on love, someones “love” tweets sparked quite the thought process for me. This person, in general, is a positive person, I believe. They post a lot of really great tweets about how beautiful black women are, and all that jazz. Nice right? Yeah….. until it gets a bit self righteous and ethnocentric. I’m all for black love, self love, and bettering “the race”. But, NOT at the detriment of any other. The tweet that started it all was “black men and black women NEED each other… to be whole.” I respectfully disagreed. I replied that I was a whole person, on my own, regardless of whom I chose to be with. I feel that if I’m single, in a relationship, dating or any other possible option, I am still unequivocally me. I’m still in the process of learning who “me” is, but regardless of my total understanding of such, it stands the same, that I enter every situation as such.
I feel that every person should enter a union as a whole person. I know I don’t want “half a man” to try to come into my life, expecting me to “complete” them, the same way no one wants a sloppy me. I’m not expecting everyone to have everthing in their life carefully mapped and/or planned out. I’m just not wanting to hold any adults hand. I’m all for helping, but not for living anyone else’s life FOR them. I’d love for someone to sweep me off my feet, indulge on lavish spending sprees for me, eat at the best restaurants, you know, the Pretty Woman story line (minus the being a prostitute part. TOTALLY minus that part). HOWEVER, I don’t EXPECT someone to do that for me. Would I welcome it if it were offered? Hell yes. But I’m fully capable of surviving if it doesn’t happen. I actually don’t expect it to. And I’m ok with that.
The tweet began a mini debate. It went into interracial dating, and whether or not a black man or woman could exist without the other. I’m all for interracial dating, so it follows I believe I won’t drop off the face of the planet if I don’t marry a black man and procreate “black” babies. I get that to continue the black “race” black men and women need to procreate, the same way Hispanic or Asian couples need to procreate to continue their race. I don’t think there are any extention concerns at this point, so I’ll work on finding love regardless of the color he happens to be. Besides, do we really need to get into the lack of the credibility of “race” in itself? Didn’t think so. Trust we won’t be opening that can in this post.
This whole being single time of my life is suposed to be about me getting to know me. It’s about me living my life and growing into the person that I ultimatly hope to share with my future husband and children. Isn’t the point in being single to be the love you’re looking to attract? Through the little blessing that surprisingly enough is Twitter, I stumbled upon @MastinKipp and The Daily Love . If you don’t receive his emails everyday, or at least get his tweets, you’re missing out. This young man is remarkably inspiring and his daily inspirational emails have spoken to me on numerous occasions. Between Mastin, The Daily Love, and simply growing up and listening to my inner voice, I’ve accepted that there’s nothing wrong with being single. Instead, I’ve started to make sure I make good use of it.
This is the time I’m suposed to use to get my act together. I believe, God hasn’t sent me “Mr. Right” because I’m not ready for him yet. His blessings come in His time. When I’m at the right point in my life, he’ll come. And not before then. Instead of trying to rush the blessing, my time is much better spent preparing for it.
Besides the whole disagreement on who needs whom, the issue of “not understanding someone so thinking they’re wrong” came up. If you’re lucky enough to have had the privilage, you know that I HATE when someone makes assumptions about me and how I feel. For example. Never assume, then tell me, I have an attitude. ESPECIALLY when you don’t even have a tone of voice with which to infer such. THAT will ultimately result in me catching an attitude. Works everytime. I pride myself on being openminded. I’d say I make an effort to
listen, then talk um…. try and be understanding of all situations. Just because I don’t agree with something, doesn’t mean I don’t understand. Just because I understand, doesn’t mean I agree. I’m a fan of being unappolagetically me. I am who I am. I may not share all of who I am with you, not necessarily becaue I am ashamed of something, or because I don’t accept something, but more because it’s none of your business or because I don’t feel the level of our relationship requires full disclosure of my every human truth. With that said, I’m a proud member of team #LetsAgreeToDisagree There is no need for anyone to alter their beliefs to make someone else happy. Neither one of us will implode because we don’t see eye to eye on a matter! It’s the nature of life. Not every shape fits in every hole. That doesn’t change the shape of the shape. Not on any day of the week.